This Is The Life

THIS IS THE LIFE 

  Kimberly looked down in disgust at the blood splatter covering her clothes. She dropped the rusted axe from her hands and wiped the sweat from her forehead. 

 With the tip of her boots, she gave a swift kick to the dismembered body parts laying at her feet. 

Kimberly said angrily, "You just had to make me kill you, didn't ya?! Damn you and your smartass mouth! I hope you're happy now, you abusive bastard! This is what happens to evil men like you!!" 

  She was furious at Joseph for pushing over the edge. This was all his fault! He had bullied and controlled her from the moment they met. She had tried many times to leave him. He always found her somehow and guilted her into coming back. She finally stopped leaving and just gave up hope of ever getting free of his cruel grasp. 

 She'd known for a long time she was becoming more and more emotionally unstable. She'd felt rage building up inside of her for the last few years. It was all towards her sadistic husband. The one who was currently looking like steak tartare on her tile floor. 

 "Too bad I'm out of rye bread and Worcestershire sauce or I might just cook you up. I'm kinda hungry since you refused to allow me to eat my dinner and I'm thinking you would taste pretty damn good. That way you could please me at least just once in your pathetic life, " she said with a crazed laugh. 

  She walked off and left what remained of Joseph scattered on her kitchen floor. After grabbing some clothes, she headed for the shower. 

  As she attempted to scrub the blood from her skin, she thought back to what led up to Joseph's murder. 

 Joseph came in earlier that day from chopping wood. He instantly began bitching because his supper wasn't ready. Kimberly looked at him, forcing herself to hide the disgust from her face, and smiled. 

 "It's not even close to supper time, dear. Still another two hours yet." 

 "I don't give a damn, woman! I'm hungry now! Not two goddamn hours from now!" Joseph yelled as he dropped his filthy axe on her kitchen floor. 

 Kimberly nearly spat at him. That's how much she hated him. He was a disgusting pig. Yet part of her also loved him and she hated herself for that. 

 "Let me fix you something then," she said calmly. 

 "Damn right, you will!" 

 She watched Joseph storm out of the room and turned back around to face the stove. 

  Kimberly closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

 "Dear Baby Jesus: this motherfucker is about one smart ass comment away from being my co-star on Snapped. Please put him in a coma so I don't have to kill him. I don't look too good in orange. And dear men who are hot, smart and in love with me: Please start existing. Amen, " she mumbled under her breath. 

 "What the fuck are you doing, Kim?! That food ain't gonna cook its damn self! If it did, I wouldn't need your crazy ass!" he yelled from the living room. 

 Kimberly wanted so badly to shove the 15 inch cast iron skillet she was pulling from the cabinet down his throat. 

 She fixed him some food as fast as she could and set the table. She called his name and he eventually came into the kitchen. 

  "What is this?" he said in disgust as he looked down at the plate she sat before him. 

  

 "It's chili, dear." 

 "It looks like dog shit. Not even dog food, but dog SHIT. I'm used to getting served dog food. But this. This is pure SHIT," he said through clenched teeth as he shoved the plate so hard it flew off the table. 

 "I'm not sure why I ever married you," he continued, "you're the same woman who can't even boil water without setting off the fire alarm." 

  Kimberly's face grew red with anger. 

 Joseph looked at her and jumped to his feet. 

 "You have something to say, Kimmy? Say it then," he said with a dare. 

 

 He was standing so close to her, Kimberly could feel his horrid breath on her cheek. She didn't dare look him in the eyes. The last time she was foolish enough to do that, she'd ended up with a bloody nose and black eye. 

 

  Kimberly turned away from him and went to get her supper. She grabbed a plate and started dipping the last small bit of remaining chili from the skillet.  

 Joseph went into a rage when she  turned away. 

 "Why you fuckin' bitch! You know better than to turn your back when I'm talking to you!" 

 Kimberly felt him approach her and grab her hair from behind. 

 "You really think it's ok to eat before your hard workin' husband has eaten? Drop that fuckin' plate. NOW." 

 Kimberly cried out as he yanked her head back. Her neck felt like it was going to snap. As tears flooded her eyes, she dropped the plate with a crash. 

 Joseph jumped back as the food splattered at his feet. He swung Kimberly around, intending on landing a punch to her face. 

 Kimberly reacted instantly and reached for the skillet behind her. With a swing, she smashed it against the side of Joseph's head. 

  He stumbled back and lost his balance. He hit the floor hard. He looked at her with pure rage, shock covering his face. 

 Before he could move, Kimberly smashed the skillet down as hard as she could onto his skull. 

 When that still didn't knock him out, she looked around the room in a panic. Her eyes landed on the axe Joseph had dropped earlier. Without a second thought, she rushed to it and grabbed it with shaking hands. She knew if she didn't kill him, he would surely kill her. 

 She closed her eyes and swung at him with all of her might. She felt the axe connect with something. She heard Joseph let out a whoosh of air. 

 She opened her eyes to see it stuck in his forehead. 

 With every ounce of strength she could muster, she pulled it out and began chopping at him.  

 Rage blinded her and it felt so good to give him a taste of his own medicine. She didn't stop until he was literally in pieces. 

 Kimberly suddenly snapped back to reality and turned the shower off. She dressed quickly and went back to the kitchen. 

 She looked down at Joseph and said, "I'm gonna need to borrow your truck , my love. I need to run to the store for a couple of things. Looks like À la Joseph was just added to the menu! That's right, dear! I love ya enough to eat ya! And I also hated you enough to kill ya!"  

 Kimberly grabbed the keys from the hook on the wall and rushed out the door. She hadn't felt this free in the 14 years she'd been married to Joseph. 

 She drove off into the night and suddenly realized this was the first time she'd went somewhere alone in years.  She was desperately hoping someone would see her out without Joseph and question his whereabouts. Although she was certain no one would since everyone despised the man. She was already planning the answer she would give. 

 "Where is Joseph?", Kimberly said in a high pitched voice. 

She giggled and said, "Oh, he's at home. I'm sure he's in pieces without me. I wouldn't be surprised if I returned home to find him bloody and battered from trying to care for himself." 

 She burst out into a fit of laughter at her own cleverness. Oh yes, this was the life.